Sunday, September 28, 2008
♥ Sunday, September 28, 2008
i cant believe recess week is over just like that. had meetings every single day from monday to thurday, den a 2D1N kelong trip on sat. in fact i just came back from m'sia this afternoon. sth different i must say. shall blog abt it once i upload the photos.
but recess week is pretty fruitful. at least i have finished reading a great book. and i dun rmb the last time i actually finish a book i started (oh yesss OMG!!). my ps i love you is still left hanging at page 169? its too draggy and the only motivation to keep me gg is the next letter/note he wrote for her. read during the PA days and stopped when PA ended. shucks lousy pok!
anw, i have been mulling over an issue over the week.
i have finally met up with S a few days ago. it has been a while since i have met her, like last year? ok i exaggerated. but really sit and talk - it has been a really long time since we did that. with such busy schedules, i hardly see her ard in school which is rather sad. a big change for me in fact, which made me even more sad when i finally did get to meet her. ok wad an emo freak i am.
so we were on the topic about friendship or rather the people around us we often called friends. in my point of view, i always thought im a pretty good friend on average. pple say i always complain when i see them so i will try to minimise my complaining habits. whenever pple need me to help them i would try if its within my limits. i will organise mini meet-ups, even if its just an hour or so, just to catch up with each other.
or maybe i have been trying too hard. so hard that some just take me for granted. so hard that when its my turn to ask some1 to do something for me its like asking them to donate a kidney. sometimes ill question myself wat kind of friends im actually having, u know those who are really sincere to be friends with u, showing concern, sharing the woes and the joys, those who enter in ur life for a period of time and probably the next time u will see them is on facebook's news feed, those whom you just wanna have fun with, and thats it and those whom u just talk just for the sake of erm talking. just when i start questioning myself who are the ones whom ill actually foresee that our friendship will last till our 26th birthdays (im not talking abt bff or wadsoever here), sad to say i can only list a handful.
and then i realise that some pple aren't worth your time. call me a pushover, after thinking for quite a long while, wad she said does make some sense. true enough, i don't wanna spend so much time and effort on pple who aren't gonna be appreciative and treasure the meaning of friendship. those who dun even give a damn about my presence and just do things to include me in to make them feel/look good. i dun need such pple in my life. and here i am trying to be nice to these pple and at the end of the day, ill be laughing at myself for actually acting so pathetic in front of these pple. wad for. ill be behaving like them, isnt it?
back to S, i realise wad a terrible terrible friend i am to her. i wasnt there when she was gg through all these. i only knew abt it much later. and i actually blamed the busy schedule. but deep down, i wondered if i were there, maybe things will not be that bad. feeling vexed and yet i cant do anything abt it. f.
and tonight. i just received another one.
